Race for the Cure

Yesterday was the Race for the Cure in St. Louis. As I understand, this race is the biggest in the country. I went back and forth for a long time. On one hand I really wanted to run in the survivor’s procession and then run in the actual race. On the other hand I didn’t want to break down in front of all those people. It is very emotional to be around other survivors who know and understand exactly what you went through in your fight. The other very hard thing for me was to see all the “in memory” shirts. John says that when people mention someone who died of cancer I inhale very loudly. I don’t like to even think about people who didn’t make it because it reminds me that I am stage 4 and the stats for surviving aren’t great. In the end I decided it was still too raw and I didn’t think I could handle it yet. I told John I would revisit it next year and eventually I would participate. I think the first time I will do it with John and my kids and then if I think I can handle it I will invite family and friends. I did watch some of it on TV and I was an emotional mess! Since taking Tamoxifen I always joke that I am emotionally normal now. For those who don’t know me, I don’t show my emotions. I think John has seen me cry only a few times. Since being on Tamoxifen I have found that I now cry just as much as John does. (he has always been the emotional one in our family). Cancer really changes you!

4 thoughts on “Race for the Cure

  1. Yes, cancer diagnosis and treatment is life changing. As for me, I am thankful for so many positive outcomes, especially attitude and self-care. And I think you are so much more dedicated to self-care than I will ever be!

    I understand your mixed emotions about the Race. When I was in treatment in 2009, a friend surprised me with a walk team. I was in such shock that day, I didn’t cry once (my mom & friends shed tears on my behalf).

    This year and last, the survivor procession was an extremely emotional event! Survivors were presented with a rose when they finished the walk, and I teared up. It’s hard to understand why I’m so much more emotional now that I’m recovered. So next year, depending on how you’re feeling about the Race, we might walk, talk and cry the Survivor procession together. We would have LOTS of company!! Love you!

  2. Michelle, You have to do what is right for you and only you know how much you can handle. At this time you have enough on your plate you don’t need to add any additional emotions to your life. If you are there or not, the walk is to help find a cure for everyone and intended to show support for all. You are always in my thoughts and prayers.

  3. Even if you did not go on the walk your thoughts were there with them.Just keep up your courage and strenght. Just think with the Lord’s help you will overcome and you know that the prayers are still going on for you.

    Love you! Grandma

  4. Michelle,
    You just have to do what you feel comfortable with. My cousin Janet is a breast cancer survivor. She was DX this past summer and had one breast removed. Her sister Sharon has been of great help and support to her as well as her family.
    In Kentucky on Oak’s Day(the day before the Kentucky Derby) is devoted to breast cancer awareness. Sharon and one other friend took Janet and bought her pink clothes and a beautiful pink hat(they were in pink also) and walked with her. Yes it was very emotional with many tears, however it was just what she needed.
    Just as with everything in life people react differently. Your needs will be different than from others. You have the most important things already in your life. First God, then family and friends to be a great support team for you. Someday “MANY YEARS IN THE FUTURE” you will make that walk. Because God has a plan and YOU have a future.
    As always remember,
    Someone in Pewee Valley is praying for you.
    Ronnie & Debbie

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