Too Long!!

I can’t believe that it has been 10 days since I posted. I thought I would update everyone on how many days I have left. I only have 1 day left. Monday will be my last day!!! I am so excited. Radiation has been much harder mentally than I thought. I think when I was doing chemo I only had to acknowledge the fact that I had cancer the one day I went to go get chemo. After that day I didn’t think about it for the next 2 weeks. I acted as if I was just a normal stay at home mom. During radiation, since I had to go every day, it is a constant reminder that I have cancer. It really starts to get you down. Physically this is much easier than chemo. The only side effect is fatigue and a horrible burn. Overall I have been pretty positive but I was at my breaking point last week. I was driving to the YMCA to work out and I broke down. I begged God to give me a sign that everything will be okay and that I would make it through this and the cancer wouldn’t come back.  I typically listen to christian music (for those that live in St. Louis that would be Joy FM- 99.1) and music usually speaks to me. Just after I got done praying a song came on and it was like God wanted me to hear it. It is a new song and I had never heard it before. The song is called Stronger and it is by Mandisa. It is about how God is holding your hand through your trials and that you will make it through and the experience will make you stronger. What a great reassurance.

Yesterday the radiation machines broke down right before my treatment. (Those of you on FB already knew about this) The air that keeps the machines cool broke. I had already changed into my beautiful gown when they came and told me. They didn’t know how long it would take to fix the problem but I was welcome to wait or leave and add another day on. Guess what I picked?? I waited. In fact I told them I would wait 5 hours if I had to. It only took 30 minutes. So glad I waited!

My hair has started to grow back. Yeah!! While I didn’t loose all of my hair, it did get pretty thin. I was really looking forward to having it grow back and I wanted to see if it would look different. Many patients talk about chemo curl- where your hair grows back with curl- but I didn’t get any curl. It is still pretty straight. I do however have two new calics. They are very hard to manage!!! Most days I am not sure what to do with my hair and it sticks up in funny directions. I hope as my hair gets longer those will go away!!

We have had lots of snow that is sticking around a very long time!! So how do we keep Jett busy?


And when you are tired what do you do? Take a nap??? He didn’t know I was taking a picture. He was resting because riding a 4 wheeler is hard work!!! He rode for about 2 hours and loved it!!!

Of course I couldn’t leave the girls out. I know you all wanted some cuteness to make you smile.


8 thoughts on “Too Long!!

  1. Don’t you just love it when God answers your pleas! Music is a great communication between you and God and it can truely lift the spirits! So glad for just one more treatment for you! Praise God! Your kids seem to be enjoying the snow too…we did not get a thing out of this last storm 😦 Will be praying for you and your last treatment! And VAlentine’s Day! Wow!

  2. Yeh!!!! one more treatment. God is so good. He answers our petitions in many ways,we just have to be listening. That will be a lovely way to celebrate Valentines day. We love you and have a happy valentines day.

  3. Seems like Kaylee has a smile in every photo you’ve posted! Thanks for sharing your motivation with us.
    So glad you’re at the end of treatment! Yes, radiation seems to take a huge emotional toll. A sense of loss & situational sadness is typical at this stage of your journey….glad your faith sustains you and music lifted your spirit. I’ll be in touch soon. It’s been annual review and ISAT time.

  4. Michelle – I do believe in signs from God. Let me tell you a couple experiences I have had. First, the day my dad past away I asked God for a sign that he was with him in heaven. Ryan was going for eye tracking exercises that day. I was going to cancel but thought it might help me staying busy. When we got there, the exercise they gave him was “snow angels”. Second, the day my brother left this world, he was trying to “catch” the angel … coincidental, I think not. God will take care of you!

  5. Dear Shelly, so glad the treatments are over. We’ll pray that all this is behind you and that eventually it’ll all be a vague memory. You and John are so blessed to have those 3 bundles of energy. They’re beautiful and reflect the love and care you shower on them.

    We love you very much.

    All the Kupkas

  6. Michelle, How wonderful to hear your radiation is finished. You will feel better and stronger soon. The sad day is gone and many good days are ahead. Tears are good at times. We women shed them, take a while to think of our selves, our needs our pain. Then you heard a beautiful song and a comforting message from God. You received just what you needed to pick yourself up and go on. GOD IS GREAT. Remember someone in Pewee Valley is praying for you each day.
    Ronnie & Debbie

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